


Feelings

by CatsoftheApocalypse



Series: The One with the Supernatural Boys [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Clubs are awful, Dean gives relationship advice, Dean is helpful, F/M, Tequila makes an awful evening a little better, clueless Cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-05 01:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3099143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsoftheApocalypse/pseuds/CatsoftheApocalypse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam Levine makes you force Cas to shake his bootay (yes, I spelled it like that on purpose) and drag your secret out into the open.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> It's probably rather obvious, but just to clear that up: Standard POV is yours, while the italic parts are omniscient perspective, to allow for some variation.

“I hate clubs.” I grumbled into my beer.  
“I know, F/N. But it was either that or finding a bar on the other side of town.” Dean replied. He sat next to me, Sam and Cas on the other side of the table, with Cas directly opposite me. “You wanted a drink just as much as any of us.”  
“Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go find a bathroom. And a bottle of Tequila, if I’m lucky.”  
Without waiting for a reply from any of them, I got up and started to weave my way through the crowd on the dancefloor.  
  
_“What’s wrong with her?” Castiel asked when F/N was out of earshot. “She seems to be in a very foul mood.”_  
_“How would I know, buddy? Maybe it’s her time of the month.” Dean shrugged. Cas frowned._  
_“She told me she was seeing someone while working a case for a whole month in the same town. Apparently it didn’t end well.” Sam explained. “That was just before we asked for her help.”_  
_“So she’s sad about that?” Cas asked._  
_Although his general understanding of human emotions had grown massively, F/N’s still remained a mystery to him. The fact that both his mind and his body found hers highly attractive didn’t help his confusion._  
_Sam and Dean glanced at each other. They had caught up on the angel’s feelings for their friend and occasional colleague a while ago._  
_“Probably.” Sam answered his question. “Maybe you should ask her, though.”_  
_Just then, two girls about F/N’s age came up t them and asked the brothers to dance. Dean agreed eagerly and called Sam out for being a party pooper when he initially refused, causing him to change his mind. Cas remained at the table alone, waiting for F/N’s return._  
  
When I returned after throwing some cold water into my face and taking a shot of Tequila (okay, three…) that was pleasantly warming my insides, I found Cas alone. He had become way more socially adept in the past few years, but he still looked a little out of place amongst all the buzzed people. When I sat down, he smiled at me awkwardly.  
“Hey.” I said  
“Hey.”  
“Where are Stan and Olly?”  
In reply, he nodded towards where Sam and Dean were dancing with two girls who looked similar enough to be sisters.  
“Peachy.” I grumbled.  
“What?” Cas asked, sounding confused.  
“One would think that, if they drag me into a place like this, knowing I hate them, they could at least keep me company.”  
“Oh.” A hurt look crossed his face.  
“No, Cas, don’t get me wrong. I love your company.” I did. A lot. “I’m just… I guess I’m just grumpy.” I sighed and lifted the beer to my lips.  
“Because of the end of your recent relationship?” he asked.  
“What? Who told you that?” I narrowed my eyes. “Never mind. Could only have been one person. Not exactly… Maybe… It wasn’t exactly a full-blown relationship. He asked me out and we went for a coffee, but never really and entire date. It took him two weeks to call, and when he did I was in the middle of a vamp’s nest, so I blew him off. He didn’t take it very well. Blamed everything on me. I’m not sad about it, just frustrated. Never liked him that much anyway.”  
“He does sound unpleasant.” Cas mused.  
I smiled a little.  
“Guess so.”  
“Is there…” he stopped himself. “Never mind.”  
Just then, the DJ started playing “Feelings”. I had a soft spot for Maroon 5, and this particular song had a rhythm I really enjoyed. Also, I could relate to the lyrics. Quite a lot.  
“While we’re here, we might as well get our move on.” I said, getting up from my seat and holding my hand out to Cas. “Dance with me.”  
“I don’t think I can dance like this.” he replied, eyeing the crowd.  
He was visibly flustered, and my heart sped up its beating.  
“Nonsense. Look at Dean. Just do what he does.”  
I dragged him towards the dance floor. His movements may not have been quite as fluid as Dean’s, but he turned out to be a decent dancer after all. My own body moved in time with the beat, almost involuntarily, and Cas watched me intently.  
“You can touch me, you know.” I pointed out.  
Hesitantly, he let his hands rest on my hips. It was hard to tell in the differently colored, pulsing lights on the floor, but I was pretty certain his face was bright red. The chorus played for the second time, and I must have been more buzzed than I thought, for I reached around his neck with one arm and pulled him towards me, so I could whisper the lyrics into his ear. I knew he’d understand every word with his improved angel hearing.  
“If you want me, take me home and let me use you.”  
He pulled back and stared at me in wide-eyed shock. I just kept dancing, my movements sensual, and gave him a questioning look.  
“What? Why?” I could read from his lips, so I pulled him back down to me and told him in time with the song:  
“I’ve got these feelings for you, and I can’t help myself no more. Can’t fight these feelings for you, no I can’t help myself no more.”  
He pulled back again, frowning. His eyes showed confusion, but also interest. I just looked back at him, still dancing. Suddenly, he grabbed my wrist. I caught a glimpse of the Winchesters looking after us, confused, as he dragged me off the dance floor and out of the club. Some distance away from the crowds waiting to get in, the chill of the night air surrounding us, he spun around to face me.  
“Why did you say these things?” he demanded. “Were you making fun of me?”  
“What? Cas, no! Why would I make fun of you?”  
“What then? Did you say it because you’re intoxicated?”  
“No!” I ripped my hand from his grasp. As pleasantly buzzed and lacking inhibitions as I had been just a few minutes ago, the frigid air and interrogation had the effect of a bucket of water to the face. I was stone cold sober. “You know what, Cas? Forget about it. All of it. I’m going to the motel. Enjoy the rest of your night.”  
I walked away, Cas staring at my back. Why would he think I was making fun of him? I had basically told him I was in love with him, and what he chose to focus on was that I had had a few drinks. Why did I have to fall for an angel in the first place? Could only end in tragedy. A few tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, but I forced them back.  
  
_When Sam and Dean exited the club to check on the other two, they found Cas alone, lening against a broken lamppost some distance from the doors._  
_“Where’s F/N?” Dean asked his feathered friend._  
_“Motel.” Cas grumbled in reply._  
_“Care to tell us what happened? You two looked like you were really hitting it off on the dance floor, and now she’s gone? I thought you were finally making a move…”_  
_The angel looked up at Dean questioningly._  
_“Come on, man, you’re an open book to me when it comes to feelings. We know you like her. So where did it go wrong?”_  
_Cas sighed deeply before answering._  
_“As we were dancing, she… She quoted the song back to me. Told me to take her home and let her use me.” he blushed._  
_Dean laughed out loud, causing Sam to hit him over the back of the head. He rubbed the sore spot as he said:_  
_“And where exactly is the problem with that?”_  
_“Dean, she’s drunk. I wasn’t going to take advantage of that.”_  
_“So you wanted to?” Dean smirked. “Listen, buddy. F/N doesn’t get drunk that easily. I’m pretty sure she knew what she was doing. And the way she moved with you was pretty telling…” he fanned some air to his face with his hand. “What else did she say?”_  
_Cas looked away._  
_“She… She also quoted the lines about having “these feelings” for me…”_  
_“There you go! She likes you. Even if she had been drunk, have you never heard that kids and drunk people tell the truth?”_  
_“That doesn’t make any sense, Dean.”_  
_“Of course not. It’s a human thing. But it’s true nonetheless. You should talk to her.”_  
_“I can’t.”_  
_“Why not?” Sam jumped in._  
_“If what you say is true, she’s probably hurt by my actions. She would not want to see me now. Or ever again, for that matter.”_  
_“Buddy, the longer you wait, the worse it’ll get.” Dean pointed out. “Go. Tell her the truth.”_  
_“But-“_  
_“GO!!!” they told him in unison._  
  
I slammed the door of my room shut behind me, placing the bottle of Vodka I had purchased in an off-license along the way on the table with a bit too much energy. After finding a glass, I slouched in a chair, the bottle in front of me. With a deep sigh, I unscrewed the top. This was why I hated clubs. They made me do stupid things. Like telling and angel of the lord I had the hots for him.  
“The hell was I thinking?” I grumbled to myself, pouring a good amount of Vodka into the glass.  
I wasn’t thinking at all, I supposed. The way he had looked at me when we were dancing, the feeling of his hands on my body had been way more intoxicating than the bit of booze I had had. It had clouded my judgment and made me reveal what I had been hiding rather well so far. Now I’d ruined the friendship I had with Cas. I raised the glass, but before it reached my lips, I narrowed my eyes at it. No. I’d not drink myself into a stupor over this. That would only give him leverage. Needing some more air anyway, I decided to pour the contents into a friendly plant next to my door. However, upon my opening said door, I was not faced with the dark of the night, but instead bumped into a lean, dress shirt and trench coat clad chest. In my surprise, the glass slipped from my hand, crashing into a million glittering pieces on the floor, spilling alcohol over two sets of feet. Eyes in a shade of blue that took my breath away with every glimpse bored into mine. I swallowed, forcing myself to remember that I was mad at him, too.  
“F/N.”  
“What do you want?” I snapped and saw another hurt look briefly flicker across his features. “I can’t talk right now. I need to find another glass so I can keep boozing up. You know how much I like my liquor.” My voice dripped with venom.  
“Please, F/N… It was wrong of me to say that… May I come in and speak to you?”  
“Do what you want, Cas.”  
He slowly entered the room and closed the door, his step cautious and reluctant.  
“I… I came to apologize.”  
“Why bother? You made your opinion of me pretty clear. It’s not like you care much about me. Might as well leave the situation as it is.”  
“No, F/N. You’ve got it all wrong, and that’s my fault…”  
“Oh my, how ever can that be?” I hissed, pointedly staring at the closed door instead of his darn beautiful, innocent features.  
“please, sit.” he said, gesturing to the chair I had occupied before. I decided to indulge him, so I sat.  
“What now?”  
“F/N, I… I’m truly sorry. I did not mea to suggest you drank unreasonable amounts of alcohol. It was just very unexpected to hear you say these kinds of things to me, and I could not believe you actually meant them. So I tried to find explanations, however unlikely they seemed. Please, believe me.”  
I sighed, my anger slowly evaporating, along with the vodka on my shoes, the longer I looked at him.  
“Let’s assume I believe you. That still wouldn’t explain why you thought I might be making fun of you. What can you tell me about that?”  
Upon my question, he withdrew his eyes from me and looked to the side.  
“Cas? Are you blushing?” I stood.  
“I… I feared you might have figured out…”  
I took a few steps towards him.  
“Figured out what?” I asked softly, and he took a deep breath.  
“I feared you might have figured out that you hold a great appeal for me, both emotionally and physically, and found it entertaining to tease me for it.”  
I brought my hand up to cup his cheek and he looked at me again.  
“Did I ever give you a reason to assume I would do such a thing?”  
My voice was low as I spoke. He blinked.  
“You have not.” he replied. “Yet, I still feared… I’m sorry.”  
“Cas, fear is rarely reasonable, especially when other emotions are involved. It’s okay. You’re forgiven.”  
A small smile crept onto his face.  
“Thank you. I’ll leave now.”  
“Oh, no, you won’t.” I smirked.  
“Why not?”  
“Because I meant it when I said I had these feelings for you, and after what you just told me there’s no way in hell I will let you go now. Come with me.”  
I took his hand and dragged him over to the bed, where I pushed him to sit on the edge and knelt behind him on the mattress. After pulling both his coat and suit jacket off his shoulders, I let my hands rest there, just feeling his presence and letting the heat of his body seep into mine. After a while, I scooted closer still and peeked over his shoulder at his hands fidgeting in his lap.  
“What’s wrong?” I asked, growing slightly nervous myself.  
“Did you mean the other thing you said as well?” he asked in return.  
“What other thing?”  
“That, if I wanted you, I should take you home and let you use me?”  
“I… Well, yes, I did… but that doesn’t mean we have to-“ here I was interrupted as he turned around in a flash, flipping me over so I lay on the bed with his body covering mine. In the process, his coat and suit jacket fell to the floor, and I was left in utter astonishment.  
“Whoa, easy, tiger. We don’t have to do this tonight.” I said.  
“You want to?” he asked huskily, and I swallowed hard, but nodded in agreement. “Good. I do as well.”  
He slowly inched his lips closer to mine, but that took way too long for my liking, so I tangled my hand in the dark locks at the back of his head and pulled him down, closing the distance. The resulting kiss burned through the both of us, scorching every last but of hesitation either of us might still have felt away completely. all the while, his firm body pressed deliciously against mine. After I had initiated the contact, he knew hardly any restraint. The hand he did not use to support his weight roamed my body, before reaching behind my right knee and dragging my leg up to hook around his middle.  
“Oh dear.” I panted, breaking the kiss for need of air. “Either April taught you really well that night, or you’re just a natural.”  
“I believe it’s because I am with you.” he replied, his voice equally unsteady. “I enjoyed the experience  with her, but you… It’s different with you. It feels like home.”  
“Are you saying-“ I trailed off, at a loss for words.  
“That being with you like this, or any other way, truly, feels like heaven. Or an ideal version of it. Seeing as right now, it’s not doing that well…”  
I saw the sadness wash over him, the guilt pushing away the lust in his eyes. My throat constricted and compassion filled my heart.  
“Castiel, look at me.” I said softly, and his eyes locked with mine. “You didn’t know. You meant well. You trusted the Scribe. And you and the other angels are working hard to fix everything. They’re back in heaven, the door is open and you’ll also find a way to open the gates again. I’m sure of it.”  
I cupped his cheek with one hand again, the other on his neck. There was amazement in his eyes, but he didn’t say anything in reply, just lowered his lips to mine again. In the midst of this sweet kiss, more hopeful than hot, my hands moved to his chest and I began to unbutton his shirt. The kiss grew more heated, and one of Cas’ hands began to roam my upper body as well. My breath caught when it wriggled to disappear under the edge of my well-fitting sweater. Knowing it was not a reaction of displeasure, Cas smiled against my lips, moving his hand further and pushing the fabric up towards my breasts.  
“Castiel.” I breathed, breaking the kiss.  
“Yes, my dearest?”  
“Loose the shirt.” I ordered.  
He knelt above me, slipping the shirt I had graciously already unbuttoned for him off his shoulders and throwing it aside. I sat up as well, pulling the sweater over my head and flicking it off the bed to where his shirt landed. Fair is fair, after all. I proceeded to unclasp my bra as well, but lay back against the pillows before the straps could fall my shoulders and reveal my chest completely. Cas bent down over me again, capturing my lips in another heated kiss. While thus entranced, my fingers trailed all over his body. I felt his strong shoulders, his toned, yet not overly muscular stomach… He drew in a sharp breath when my hands moved up his back to rest on his shoulder blades.  
“What is it?” I asked, concern in my voice.  
“Nothing. It’s alright.” he murmured, embarrassed.  
“You can tell me.”  
“I’m just… a little overprotective of my wings since I was human.” he said, blushing slightly.  
“Oh, I see… I’ll steer clear then…” I said, moving my hands to a lower place on his back instead.  
“You don’t have to. I trust you.”  
“Thank you.” I whispered, touched by his faith in me.  
I then threw my bra away. Originally, I had planned for him to do that, but this was about as vulnerable as I could get, so it was really more of a gesture at this point. He took my appearance in for a few moments, the caressing my breasts softly with the back of his hand. I shivered in pleasure under his touch.  
Without thinking about it first, I suddenly rolled over, straddling him. I ground my core against his very prominent desire as I bent down to kiss his lips, before letting my own wander across his jaw line and down his neck. In the meantime, my hands busied themselves by unbuckling his belt, moving on to the button beneath it, and then the zipper. I felt him growing even harder under my soft touch, and he moved to open my pants as well. Having unbuttoned and unzipped them, he began to push them down my legs, right along with my panties, leaving my center bare before his gaze. I moved away to kick my jeans and panties off the bed and then lay down again on my side, next to him. He looked at me in confusion, which was instantly overpowered by lust again as I let my fingertips trail down his stomach and disappear beneath the waistband of his boxers. I gingerly wrapped my hand around his hard length, pumping him slowly as he closed his eyes and gave me a low groan, his hands clawing into the sheets.  
After a few feathery kisses across his jaw I brought my lips up to his ear and whispered:  
“You know, I feel a little disappointed. You can see all of me – and you’re welcome to touch, too – yet you are still covered from the waist down.”  
With that, I withdrew my hand from him and waited for his reaction.  
A desperate, strangled sound erupted from his throat and he snapped his fingers, instantly ridding himself of his pants and boxers. Then he rolled over to cover my body with his again.  
“That was very Gabriel.” I giggled, and a stern look crossed his face.  
“I am not pleased to hear you speak of my brother while you are in bed with me.” he growled.  
“Then maybe you should do something about that.” My voice took on a sultry note and I strained my neck to whisper in his ear again. “Make me forget you have any brothers in the first place.”  
Just like that, he pulled me into a harsh, possessive kiss. Roughly, he bit my bottom lip to demand entrance, which I freely gave, and began exploring my mouth with his surprisingly skilled tongue. In the meantime his right hand travelled down my body, feeling every dip in my skin, caressing every curve, before it found its way to my core. He played with me, teasing me mercilessly, circling, but never touching, the hidden pearl that promised me relief. I ended up writhing beneath him, my flesh demanding to be satisfied, until I could not take any more.  
“Do I have any brothers?” he suddenly asked.  
“I wouldn’t know.” I gasped, delirious.  
“Good.”  
With that, one his fingers entered me, curling and turning as he pumped it in and out until he had me moaning without restraint. Then he added a second, then a third, and I screamed his name in delight as he prepared me for what was yet to come. Just before I was hurled over the edge, he withdrew his hand.  
“Cas!” I scolded in disappointment.  
I need not have worried, for he did not leave me feeling empty for long.  
As soon as he entered me, in one swift stroke, I was rapidly approaching the edge again. I clawed at his back as he moved within me, unable to contain the sounds erupting from my throat every time our lips broke apart. I soon hooked my right leg around his middle again, changing the angle enough to make him hit that one spot every time he moved. He groaned my name and buried his face at my shoulder, the same sensations that had me swamped pulling him under as well. We both knew the other was incredibly close, but we didn’t want it to end just yet. However, with as worked up as we both had already been, and neither of us willing to slow down either, there was no holding back, no delaying fulfillment. Just a few thrusts later he suddenly stilled every conscious movement, nothing but a low hum emitting from him, and at the same time I came crashing down around him as well.  
I was drowning in an ocean that consisted only of Castiel, and there was nothing to stop me from going under – or so I thought until his lips crashed onto mine as if he wished to devour me. He also began moving again, although he had already spent himself within me. Nothing much, just a few soft strokes to ride out the last ripples of our highs. Then he lay on the sheets beside me, both of us messy-haired, sweaty, panting, but glowing with satisfaction. I looked at him, amazed.  
“Wow. You’re definitely a natural.” I said, once I felt my voice would be steady enough.  
“I do not think so.” he replied, and I frowned. “I told you, I think it is because I am with you.” We both lay on our sides, facing each other, and he trailed his fingers down my ribs, across my waist and hip, down to my thigh and back up again, making me shiver. “Your body – it sings to me. Tells me what you need. I did not experience this before. It’s unique to when I am with you.”  
“That’s good.” I smiled softly, pulling the duvet up around us. “Just make sure it stays like that.”  
“I am confident it will.” he murmured into my hair as I nestled into his warm embrace, already drifting off.  
I felt him press a soft kiss to the top of my head, a low “I love you.” the last thing I heard before Dreamland sucked me in completely.  
  
The next morning saw all four of us piling into the Impala, with Cas and myself in the backseat. I leaned my head on his shoulder, my hand grasping his, and looked out the window at the landscape zooming past us as we made our way to the bunker. After a while, I noticed Dean repeatedly glancing at us in the rearview mirror, a smug grin on his lips.  
“What?” I asked.  
“Nothing…” he replied. “Just happy Angel Boy got lucky.  
“Dean!” Cas warned while I blushed furiously.  
“Sorry, guys. It’s just that I was counting the days until either of you got their move on. It was getting ridiculous.”  
“Shut up, Dean.” I glowered at him and he was silent again.  
I turned back to Cas, whispering low enough that only he could hear.  
“I heard you, you know?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You said something last night, just before I fell asleep.” I specified, and it was his turn to blush. I pulled him down until his ear was level with my lips. “I love you too.” I whispered, then kissing his temple.  
He smiled happily and wrapped his arms around me. Some time later, I giggled at a memory.  
“What’s funny?” Dean asked from the drivers seat.  
“I just remembered how Gabriel made Same act out that genital herpes commercial.” I replied, still giggling. Dean laughed, Sam grumbled a “hilarious” and Cas’ hold on me tightened.  
“Do I have to make you forget I have brothers again?” he growled.  
I smirked up at him.  
“Please do.”  
“Guys, can you please save that ‘till we’re home?” Dean begged.  
“We’ll do our very best.” I promised.

**Author's Note:**

> Any requests? Give me a shout. I'll see what I can do, no promises made.


End file.
